Sojourner Truth Biography
Sojourner Truth

NARRATIVE OF SOJOURNER TRUTH
HER BIRTH AND PARENTAGE.
THE subject of this biography, SOJOURNER TRUTH, as she now calls
herself-but whose name, originally, was Isabella-was born, as near as she
can now calculate, between the years 1797 and 1800. She was the daughter
of James and Betsey, slaves of one Colonel Ardinburgh, Hurley, Ulster
County, New York.
Colonel Ardinburgh belonged to that class of people called Low Dutch.
Of her first master, she can give no account, as she must have been a mere
infant when he died; and she, with her parents and some ten or twelve
other fellow human chattels, became the legal property of his son, Charles
Ardinburgh. She distinctly remembers hearing her father and mother say,
that their lot was a fortunate one, as Master Charles was the best of the
family,-being, comparatively speaking, a kind master to his slaves.
James and Betsey having, by their faithfulness, docility, and respectful
behavior, won his particular regard, received from him particular
favors-among which was a lot of land, lying back on the slope of a
mountain, where, by improving the pleasant evenings and Sundays, they
managed to raise a little tobacco, corn, or flax; which they exchanged for
extras, in the articles of food or clothing for themselves and children.
She has no remembrance that Saturday afternoon was ever added to their own
time, as it is by some masters in the Southern States.
ACCOMMODATIONS.
Among Isabella's earliest recollections was the removal of her master,
Charles Ardinburgh, into his new house, which he had built for a hotel,
soon after the decease of his father. A cellar, under this hotel, was
assigned to his slaves, as their sleeping apartment,-all the slaves he
possessed, of both sexes, sleeping (as is quite common in a state of
slavery) in the same room. She carries in her mind, to this day, a vivid
picture of this dismal chamber; its only lights consisting of a few panes
of glass, through which she thinks the sun never shone, but with thrice
reflected rays; and the space between the loose boards of the floor, and
the uneven earth below, was often filled with mud and water, the
uncomfortable splashings of which were as annoying as its noxious vapors
must have been chilling and fatal to health. She shudders, even now, as
she goes back in memory, and revisits this cellar, and sees its inmates,
of both sexes and all ages, sleeping on those damp boards, like the horse,
with a little straw and a blanket; and she wonders not at the rheumatisms,
and fever-sores, and palsies, that distorted the limbs and racked the
bodies of those fellow-slaves in after-life. Still, she does not attribute
this cruelty-for cruelty it certainly is, to be so unmindful of the health
and comfort of any being, leaving entirely out of sight his more important
part, his everlasting interests,-so much to any innate or constitutional
cruelty of the master, as to that gigantic inconsistency, that inherited
habit among slaveholders, of expecting a willing and intelligent obedience
from the slave, because he is a MAN-at the same time every thing belonging
to the soul-harrowing system does its best to crush the last vestige of a
man within him; and when it is crushed, and often before, he is denied the
comforts of life, on the plea that he knows neither the want nor the use
of them, and because he is considered to be little more or little less
than a beast.
HER BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
Isabella's father was very tall and straight, when young, which gave
him the name of 'Bomefree'-low Dutch for tree-at least, this is
SOJOURNER's pronunciation of it-and by this name he usually went. The most
familiar appellation of her mother was 'Mau-mau Bett.' She was the mother
of some ten or twelve children; though Sojourner is far from knowing the
exact number of her brothers and sisters; she being the youngest, save
one, and all older than herself having been sold before her remembrance.
She was privileged to behold six of them while she remained a slave.
Of the two that immediately preceded her in age, a boy of five years, and
a girl of three, who were sold when she was an infant, she heard much; and
she wishes that all who would fain believe that slave parents have not
natural affection for their offspring could have listened as she did,
while Bomefree and Mau-mau Bett,-their dark cellar lighted by a blazing
pine-knot,-would sit for hours, recalling and recounting every endearing,
as well as harrowing circumstance that taxed memory could supply, from the
histories of those dear departed ones, of whom they had been robbed, and
for whom their hearts still bled. Among the rest, they would relate how
the little boy, on the last morning he was with them, arose with the
birds, kindled a fire, calling for his Mau-mau to 'come, for all was now
ready for her'-little dreaming of the dreadful separation which was so
near at hand, but of which his parents had an uncertain, but all the more
cruel foreboding. There was snow on the ground, at the time of which we
are speaking; and a large old-fashioned sleigh was seen to drive up to the
door of the late Col. Ardinburgh. This event was noticed with childish
pleasure by the unsuspicious boy; but when he was taken and put into the
sleigh, and saw his little sister actually shut and locked into the sleigh
box, his eyes were at once opened to their intentions; and, like a
frightened deer he sprang from the sleigh, and running into the house,
concealed himself under a bed. But this availed him little. He was
re-conveyed to the sleigh, and separated for ever from those whom God had
constituted his natural guardians and protectors, and who should have
found him, in return, a stay and a staff to them in their declining years.
But I make no comments on facts like these, knowing that the heart of
every slave parent will make its own comments, involuntarily and
correctly, as soon as each heart shall make the case its own. Those who
are not parents will draw their conclusions from the promptings of
humanity and philanthropy:-these, enlightened by reason and revelation,
are also unerring.
HER RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION.
Isabella and Peter, her youngest brother, remained, with their parents,
the legal property of Charles Ardinburgh till his decease, which took
place when Isabella was near nine years old.
After this event, she was often surprised to find her mother in tears; and
when, in her simplicity, she inquired, 'Mau-mau, what makes you cry?' she
would answer, 'Oh, my child, I am thinking of your brothers and sisters
that have been sold away from me.' And she would proceed to detail many
circumstances respecting them. But Isabella long since concluded that it
was the impending fate of her only remaining children, which her mother
but too well understood, even then, that called up those memories from the
past, and made them crucify her heart afresh.
In the evening, when her mother's work was done, she would sit down under
the sparkling vault of heaven, and calling her children to her, would talk
to them of the only Being that could effectually aid or protect them. Her
teachings were delivered in Low Dutch, her only language, and, translated
into English, ran nearly as follows:-
'My children, there is a God, who hears and sees you.' 'A God, mau-mau!
Where does he live?' asked the children. 'He lives in the sky,' she
replied; 'and when you are beaten, or cruelly treated, or fall into any
trouble, you must ask help of him, and he will always hear and help you.'
She taught them to kneel and say the Lord's Prayer. She entreated them to
refrain from lying and stealing, and to strive to obey their masters.
At times, a groan would escape her, and she would break out in the
language of the Psalmist-'Oh Lord, how long?' 'Oh Lord, how long?' And in
reply to Isabella's question-'What ails you, mau-mau?' her only answer
was, 'Oh, a good deal ails me'-'Enough ails me.' Then again, she would
point them to the stars, and say, in her peculiar language, 'Those are the
same stars, and that is the same moon, that look down upon your brothers
and sisters, and which they see as they look up to them, though they are
ever so far away from us, and each other.'
Thus, in her humble way, did she endeavor to show them their Heavenly
Father, as the only being who could protect them in their perilous
condition; at the same time, she would strengthen and brighten the chain
of family affection, which she trusted extended itself sufficiently to
connect the widely scattered members of her precious flock. These
instructions of the mother were treasured up and held sacred by Isabella,
as our future narrative will show.
THE AUCTION.
At length, the never-to-be-forgotten day of the terrible auction
arrived, when the 'slaves, horses, and other cattle' of Charles Ardinburgh,
deceased, were to be put under the hammer, and again change masters. Not
only Isabella and Peter, but their mother, were now destined to the
auction block, and would have been struck off with the rest to the highest
bidder, but for the following circumstance: A question arose among the
heirs, 'Who shall be burdened with Bomefree, when we have sent away his
faithful Mau-mau Bett?' He was becoming weak and infirm; his limbs were
painfully rheumatic and distorted-more from exposure and hardship than
from old age, though he was several years older than Mau-mau Bett: he was
no longer considered of value, but must soon be a burden and care to some
one. After some contention on the point at issue, none being willing to be
burdened with him, it was finally agreed, as most expedient for the heirs,
that the price of Mau-mau Bett should be sacrificed, and she receive her
freedom, on condition that she take care of and support her faithful
James,- faithful, not only to her as a husband, but proverbially faithful
as a slave to those who would not willingly sacrifice a dollar for his
comfort, now that he had commenced his descent into the dark vale of
decrepitude and suffering. This important decision was received as joyful
news indeed to our ancient couple, who were the objects of it, and who
were trying to prepare their hearts for a severe struggle, and one
altogether new to them, as they had never before been separated; for,
though ignorant, helpless, crushed in spirit, and weighed down with
hardship and cruel bereavement, they were still human, and their human
hearts beat within them with as true an affection as ever caused a human
heart to beat. And their anticipated separation now, in the decline of
life, after the last child had been torn from them, must have been truly
appalling. Another privilege was granted them-that of remaining occupants
of the same dark, humid cellar I have before described: otherwise, they
were to support themselves as they best could. And as her mother was still
able to do considerable work, and her father a little, they got on for
some time very comfortably. The strangers who rented the house were humane
people, and very kind to them; they were not rich, and owned no slaves.
How long this state of things continued, we are unable to say, as Isabella
had not then sufficiently cultivated her organ of time to calculate years,
or even weeks or hours. But she thinks her mother must have lived several
years after the death of Master Charles. She remembers going to visit her
parents some three or four times before the death of her mother, and a
good deal of time seemed to her to intervene between each visit.
At length her mother's health began to decline-a fever-sore made its
ravages on one of her limbs, and the palsy began to shake her frame;
still, she and James tottered about, picking up a little here and there,
which, added to the mites contributed by their kind neighbors, sufficed to
sustain life, and drive famine from the door.
DEATH OF MAU-MAU BETT.
One morning, in early autumn, (from the reason above mentioned, we
cannot tell what year,) Mau-mau Bett told James she would make him a loaf
of rye-bread, and get Mrs. Simmons, their kind neighbor, to bake it for
them, as she would bake that forenoon. James told her he had engaged to
rake after the cart for his neighbors that morning; but before he
commenced, he would pole off some apples from a tree near, which they were
allowed to gather; and if she could get some of them baked with the bread,
it would give a nice relish for their dinner. He beat off the apples, and
soon after, saw Mau-mau Bett come out and gather them up.
At the blowing of the horn for dinner, he groped his way into his cellar,
anticipating his humble, but warm and nourishing meal; when, lo! instead
of being cheered by the sight and odor of fresh-baked bread and the savory
apples, his cellar seemed more cheerless than usual, and at first neither
sight nor sound met eye or ear. But, on groping his way through the room,
his staff, which he used as a pioneer to go before, and warn him of
danger, seemed to be impeded in its progress, and a low, gurgling, choking
sound proceeded from the object before him, giving him the first
intimation of the truth as it was, that Mau-mau Bett, his bosom companion,
the only remaining member of his large family, had fallen in a fit of the
palsy, and lay helpless and senseless on the earth! Who among us, located
in pleasant homes, surrounded with every comfort, and so many kind and
sympathizing friends, can picture to ourselves the dark and desolate state
of poor old James-penniless, weak, lame, and nearly blind, as he was at
the moment he found his companion was removed from him, and he was left
alone in the world, with no one to aid, comfort, or console him? for she
never revived again, and lived only a few hours after being discovered
senseless by her poor bereaved James.
LAST DAYS OF BOMEFREE.
Isabella and Peter were permitted to see the remains of their mother
laid in their last narrow dwelling, and to make their bereaved father a
little visit, ere they returned to their servitude. And most piteous were
the lamentations of the poor old man, when, at last, they also were
obliged to bid him "Farewell!" Juan Fernandes, on his desolate
island, was not so pitiable an object as this poor lame man. Blind and
crippled, he was too superannuated to think for a moment of taking care of
himself, and he greatly feared no persons would interest themselves in his
behalf. 'Oh,' he would exclaim, 'I had thought God would take me
first,-Mau-mau was so much smarter than I, and could get about and take
care of herself;-and I am so old, and so helpless. What is to become of
me? I can't do anything any more-my children are all gone, and here I am
left helpless and alone.' 'And then, as I was taking leave of him,' said
his daughter, in relating it, 'he raised his voice, and cried aloud like a
child-Oh, how he DID cry! I HEAR it now -and remember it as well as if it
were but yesterday-poor old man!!! He thought God had done it all-and my
heart bled within me at the sight of his misery. He begged me to get
permission to come and see him sometimes, which I readily and heartily
promised him.' But when all had left him, the Ardinburghs, having some
feeling left for their faithful and favorite slave, 'took turns about' in
keeping him- permitting him to stay a few weeks at one house, and then a
while at another, and so around. If, when he made a removal, the place
where he was going was not too far off, he took up his line of march,
staff in hand, and asked for no assistance. If it was twelve or twenty
miles, they gave him a ride. While he was living in this way, Isabella was
twice permitted to visit him. Another time she walked twelve miles, and
carried her infant in her arms to see him, but when she reached the place
where she hoped to find him, he had just left for a place some twenty
miles distant, and she never saw him more. The last time she did see him,
she found him seated on a rock, by the road side, alone, and far from any
house. He was then migrating from the house of one Ardinburgh to that of
another, several miles distant. His hair was white like wool-he was almost
blind-and his gait was more a creep than a walk-but the weather was warm
and pleasant, and he did not dislike the journey. When Isabella addressed
him, he recognized her voice, and was exceeding glad to see her. He was
assisted to mount the wagon, was carried back to the famous cellar of
which we have spoken, and there they held their last earthly conversation.
He again, as usual, bewailed his loneliness,-spoke in tones of anguish of
his many children, saying, "They are all taken away from me! I have
now not one to give me a cup of cold water-why should I live and not
die?" Isabella, whose heart yearned over her father, and who would
have made any sacrifice to have been able to be with, and take care of
him, tried to comfort, by telling him that 'she had heard the white folks
say, that all the slaves in the State would be freed in ten years, and
that then she would come and take care of him.' 'I would take just as good
care of you as Mau-mau would, if she was here'-continued Isabel. 'Oh, my
child,' replied he, 'I cannot live that long.' 'Oh, do, daddy, do live,
and I will take such good care of you,' was her rejoinder. She now says,
'Why, I thought then, in my ignorance, that he could live, if he would. I
just as much thought so, as I ever thought any thing in my life-and I
insisted on his living: but he shook his head, and insisted he could not.'
But before Bomefree's good constitution would yield either to age,
exposure, or a strong desire to die, the Ardinburghs again tired of him,
and offered freedom to two old slaves-Caesar, brother of Mau-mau Bett, and
his wife Betsy-on condition that they should take care of James. (I was
about to say, 'their brother-in-law'-but as slaves are neither husbands
nor wives in law, the idea of their being brothers-in-law is truly
ludicrous.) And although they were too old and infirm to take care of
themselves, (Caesar having been afflicted for a long time with
fever-sores, and his wife with the jaundice), they eagerly accepted the
boon of freedom, which had been the life-long desire of their souls-though
at a time when emancipation was to them little more than destitution, and
was a freedom more to be desired by the master than the slave. Sojourner
declares of the slaves in their ignorance, that 'their thoughts are no
longer than her finger.'
DEATH OF BOMEFREE.
A rude cabin, in a lone wood, far from any neighbors, was granted to
our freed friends, as the only assistance they were now to expect.
Bomefree, from this time, found his poor needs hardly supplied, as his new
providers were scarce able to administer to their own wants. However, the
time drew near when things were to be decidedly worse rather than better;
for they had not been together long, before Betty died, and shortly after,
Caesar followed her to 'that bourne from whence no traveller
returns'-leaving poor James again desolate, and more helpless than ever
before; as, this time, there was no kind family in the house, and the
Ardinburghs no longer invited him to their homes. Yet, lone, blind and
helpless as he was, James for a time lived on. One day, an aged colored
woman, named Soan, called at his shanty, and James besought her, in the
most moving manner, even with tears, to tarry awhile and wash and mend him
up, so that he might once more be decent and comfortable; for he was
suffering dreadfully with the filth and vermin that had collected upon
him.
Soan was herself an emancipated slave, old and weak, with no one to care
for her; and she lacked the courage to undertake a job of such seeming
magnitude, fearing she might herself get sick, and perish there without
assistance; and with great reluctance, and a heart swelling with pity, as
she afterwards declared, she felt obliged to leave him in his wretchedness
and filth. And shortly after her visit, this faithful slave, this deserted
wreck of humanity, was found on his miserable pallet, frozen and stiff in
death. The kind angel had come at last, and relieved him of the many
miseries that his fellow-man had heaped upon him. Yes, he had died,
chilled and starved, with none to speak a kindly word, or do a kindly deed
for him, in that last dread of hour of need!
The news of his death reached the ears of John Ardinburgh, a grandson of
the old Colonel; and he declared that 'Bomefree, who had ever been a kind
and faithful slave, should now have a good funeral.' And now, gentle
reader, what think you constituted a good funeral? Answer-some black paint
for the coffin, and-a jug of ardent spirits! What a compensation for a
life of toil, of patient submission to repeated robberies of the most
aggravated kind, and, also, far more than murderous neglect!! Mankind
often vainly attempts to atone for unkindness or cruelty to the living, by
honoring the same after death; but John Ardinburgh undoubtably meant his
pot of paint and jug of whisky should act as an opiate on his slaves,
rather than on his own seared conscience.
COMMENCEMENT OF ISABELLA'S TRIALS IN LIFE.
Having seen the sad end of her parents, so far as it relates to this
earthly life, we will return with Isabella to that memorable auction which
threatened to separate her father and mother. A slave auction is a
terrible affair to its victims, and its incidents and consequences are
graven on their hearts as with a pen of burning steel.
At this memorable time, Isabella was struck off, for the sum of one
hundred dollars, to one John Nealy, of Ulster County, New York; and she
has an impression that in this sale she was connected with a lot of sheep.
She was now nine years of age, and her trials in life may be dated from
this period. She says, with emphasis, 'Now the war begun. ' She could only
talk Dutch-and the Nealys could only talk English. Mr. Nealy could
understand Dutch, but Isabel and her mistress could neither of them
understand the language of the other-and this, of itself, was a formidable
obstacle in the way of a good understanding between them, and for some
time was a fruitful source of dissatisfaction to the mistress, and of
punishment and suffering to Isabella. She says, 'If they sent me for a
frying-pan, not knowing what they meant, perhaps I carried them pot-hooks
and trammels. Then, oh! how angry mistress would be with me!' Then she
suffered 'terribly-terribly ', with the cold. During the winter her feet
were badly frozen, for want of proper covering. They gave her a plenty to
eat, and also a plenty of whippings. One Sunday morning, in particular,
she was told to go to the barn; on going there, she found her master with
a bundle of rods, prepared in the embers, and bound together with cords.
When he had tied her hands together before her, he gave her the most cruel
whipping she was ever tortured with. He whipped her till the flesh was
deeply lacerated, and the blood streamed from her wounds-and the scars
remain to the present day, to testify to the fact. 'And now,' she says,
'when I hear 'em tell of whipping women on the bare flesh, it makes my
flesh crawl, and my very hair rise on my head! Oh! my God!' she continues,
'what a way is this of treating human beings?' In those hours of her
extremity, she did not forget the instructions of her mother, to go to God
in all her trials, and every affliction; and she not only remembered, but
obeyed: going to him, 'and telling him all-and asking Him if He thought it
was right,' and begging him to protect and shield her from her
persecutors.
She always asked with an unwavering faith that she should receive just
what she pleaded for,-'And now,' she says, 'though it seems curious, I do
not remember ever asking for any thing but what I got it. And I always
received it as an answer to my prayers. When I got beaten, I never knew it
long enough to go beforehand to pray; and I always thought that if I only
had had time to pray to God for help, I should have escaped the beating.'
She had no idea God had any knowledge of her thoughts, save what she told
him; or heard her prayers, unless they were spoken audibly. And
consequently, she could not pray unless she had time and opportunity to go
by herself, where she could talk to God without being overheard.
TRIALS CONTINUED.
When she had been at Mr. Nealy's several months, she began to beg God
most earnestly to send her father to her, and as soon as she commenced to
pray, she began as confidently to look for his coming, and, ere it was
long, to her great joy, he came. She had no opportunity to speak to him of
the troubles that weighed so heavily on her spirit, while he remained; but
when he left, she followed him to the gate, and unburdened her heart to
him, inquiring if he could not do something to get her a new and better
place. In this way the slaves often assist each other, by ascertaining who
are kind to their slaves, comparatively; and then using their influence to
get such an one to hire or buy their friends; and masters, often from
policy, as well as from latent humanity, allow those they are about to
sell or let, to choose their own places, if the persons they happen to
select for masters are considered safe pay. He promised to do all he
could, and they parted. But, every day, as long as the snow lasted, (for
there was snow on the ground at the time,) she returned to the spot where
they separated, and walking in the tracks her father had made in the snow,
repeated her prayer that 'God would help her father get her a new and
better place.'
A long time had not elapsed, when a fisherman by the name of Scriver
appeared at Mr. Nealy's, and inquired of Isabel 'if she would like to go
and live with him.' She eagerly answered 'Yes,' and nothing doubting but
he was sent in answer to her prayer; and she soon started off with him,
walking while he rode; for he had bought her at the suggestion of her
father, paying one hundred and five dollars for her. He also lived in
Ulster County, but some five or six miles from Mr. Nealy's.
Scriver, besides being a fisherman, kept a tavern for the accommodation of
people of his own class-for his was a rude, uneducated family, exceedingly
profane in their language, but, on the whole, an honest, kind and
well-disposed people.
They owned a large farm, but left it wholly unimproved; attending mainly
to their vocations of fishing and inn-keeping. Isabella declares she can
ill describe the kind of life she led with them. It was a wild,
out-of-door kind of lief. She was expected to carry fish, to hoe corn, to
bring roots and herbs from the woods for beers, go to the Strand for a
gallon of molasses or liquor as the case might require, and 'browse
around,' as she expresses it. It was a life that suited her well for the
time-being as devoid of hardship or terror as it was of improvement; a
need which had not yet become a want. Instead of improving at this place,
morally, she retrograded, as their example taught her to curse; and it was
here that she took her first oath. After living with them for about a year
and a half, she was sold to one John J. Dumont, for the sum of seventy
pounds. This was in 1810. Mr. Dumont lived in the same county as her
former masters, in the town of New Paltz, and she remained with him till a
short time previous to her emancipation by the State, in 1828.
HER STANDING WITH HER NEW MASTER AND MISTRESS.
Had Mrs. Dumont possessed that vein of kindness and consideration for
the slaves, so perceptible in her husband's character, Isabella would have
been as comfortable here, as one had best be, if one must be a slave. Mr.
Dumont had been nursed in the very lap of slavery, and being naturally a
man of kind feelings, treated his slaves with all the consideration he did
his other animals, and more, perhaps. But Mrs. Dumont, who had been born
and educated in a non-slaveholding family, and, like many others, used
only to work-people, who, under the most stimulating of human motives,
were willing to put forth their every energy, could not have patience with
the creeping gait, the dull understanding, or see any cause for the
listless manners and careless, slovenly habits of the poor down-trodden
outcast-entirely forgetting that every high and efficient motive had been
removed far from him; and that, had not his very intellect been crushed
out of him, the slave would find little ground for aught but hopeless
despondency. From this source arose a long series of trials in the life of
our heroine, which we must pass over in silence; some from motives of
delicacy, and others, because the relation of them might inflict
undeserved pain on some now living, whom Isabel remembers only with esteem
and love; therefore, the reader will not be surprised if our narrative
appears somewhat tame at this point, and may rest assured that it is not
for want of facts, as the most thrilling incidents of this portion of her
life are from various motives suppressed.
One comparatively trifling incident she wishes related, as it made a deep
impression on her mind at the time-showing, as she thinks, how God shields
the innocent, and causes them to triumph over their enemies, and also how
she stood between master and mistress. In her family, Mrs. Dumont employed
two white girls, one of whom, named Kate, evinced a disposition to 'lord
it over' Isabel, and, in her emphatic language, 'to grind her down '. Her
master often shielded her from the attacks and accusations of others,
praising her for her readiness and ability to work, and these praises
seemed to foster a spirit of hostility to her, in the minds of Mrs. Dumont
and her white servant, the latter of whom took every opportunity to cry up
her faults, lessen her in the esteem of her master and increase against
her the displeasure of her mistress, which was already more than
sufficient for Isabel's comfort. Her master insisted that she could do as
much work as half a dozen common people, and do it well, too; whilst her
mistress insisted that the
first was true, only
because it ever came from her hand but half performed. A good deal of
feeling arose from this difference of opinion, which was getting to rather
an uncomfortable height, when, all at once, the potatoes that Isabel
cooked for breakfast assumed a dingy, dirty look. Her mistress blamed her
severely, asking her master to observe 'a fine specimen of Bell's
work!'-adding, 'it is the way all her work is done.' Her master scolded
also this time, and commanded her to be more careful in future. Kate
joined with zest in the censures, and was very hard upon her. Isabella
thought that she had done all she well could to have them nice; and became
quite distressed at their appearances, and wondered what she should do to
avoid them. In this dilemma, Gertrude Dumont (Mr. D.'s eldest child, a
good, kind-hearted girl of ten years, who pitied Isabel sincerely), when
she heard them all blame her so unsparingly, came forward, offering her
sympathy and assistance; and when about to retire to bed, on the night of
Isabella's humiliation, she advanced to Isabel, and told her, if she would
wake her early next morning, she would get up and attend to her potatoes
for her, while she (Isabella) went to milking, and they would see if they
could not have them nice, and not have 'Poppee,' her word for father, and
'Matty,' her word for mother, and all of 'em, scolding so terribly.
Isabella gladly availed herself of this kindness, which touched her to
the heart, amid so much of an opposite spirit. When Isabella had put the
potatoes over to boil, Getty told her she would herself tend the fire,
while Isabel milked. She had not long been seated by the fire, in
performance of her promise, when Kate entered, and requested Gertrude to
go out of the room and do something for her, which she refused, still
keeping her place in the corner. While there, Kate came sweeping about the
fire, caught up a chip, lifted some ashes with it, and dashed them into
the kettle. Now the mystery was solved, the plot discovered! Kate was
working a little too fast at making her mistress's words good, at showing
that Mrs. Dumont and herself were on the right side of the dispute, and
consequently at gaining power over Isabella. Yes, she was quite too fast,
inasmuch as she had overlooked the little figure of justice, which sat in
the comer, with scales nicely balanced, waiting to give all their dues.
But the time had come when she was to be overlooked no longer. It was
Getty's turn to speak now. 'Oh Poppee! oh Poppee!' said she, 'Kate has
been putting ashes in among the potatoes! I saw her do it! Look at those
that fell on the outside of the kettle! You can now see what made the
potatoes so dingy every morning, though Bell washed them clean!' And she
repeated her story to every new comer, till the fraud was made as public
as the censure of Isabella had been. Her mistress looked blank, and
remained dumb-her master muttered something which sounded very like an
oath-and poor Kate was so chop-fallen, she looked like a convicted
criminal, who would gladly have hid herself, (now that the baseness was
out,) to conceal her mortified pride and deep chagrin.
It was a fine triumph for Isabella and her master, and she became more
ambitious than ever to please him; and he stimulated her ambition by his
commendation, and by boasting of her to his friends, telling them that
'that wench' (pointing to Isabel) 'is better to me than a man-for she will
do a good family's washing in the night, and be ready in the morning to go
into the field, where she will do as much at raking and binding as my best
hands.' Her ambition and desire to please were so great, that she often
worked several nights in succession, sleeping only short snatches, as she
sat in her chair; and some nights she would not allow herself to take any
sleep, save what she could get resting herself against the wall, fearing
that if she sat down, she would sleep too long. These extra exertions to
please, and the praises consequent upon them, brought upon her head the
envy of her fellow-slaves, and they taunted her with being the 'white
folks' nigger.' On the other hand, she received the larger share of the
confidence of her master, and many small favors that were by them
unattainable. I asked her if her master, Dumont, ever whipped her? She
answered, 'Oh yes, he sometimes whipped me soundly, though never cruelly.
And the most severe whipping he ever give me was because I was cruel to a
cat.' At this time she looked upon her master as a God; and believed that
he knew of and could see her at all times, even as God himself. And she
used sometimes to confess her delinquencies, from the conviction that he
already knew them, and that she should fare better if she confessed
voluntarily: and if any one talked to her of the injustice of her being a
slave, she answered them with contempt, and immediately told her master.
She then firmly believed that slavery was right and honorable. Yet she now
sees very clearly the false position they were all in, both masters and
slaves; and she looks back, with utter astonishment, at the absurdity of
the claims so arrogantly set up by the masters, over beings designed by
God to be as free as kings; and at the perfect stupidity of the slave, in
admitting for one moment the validity of these claims.
In obedience to her mother's instructions, she had educated herself to
such a sense of honesty, that, when she had become a mother, she would
sometimes whip her child when it cried to her for bread, rather than give
it a piece secretly, lest it should learn to take what was not its own!
And the writer of this knows, from personal observation, that the
slaveholders of the South feel it to be a religious duty to teach their
slaves to be honest, and never to take what is not their own! Oh
consistency, art thou not a jewel? Yet Isabella glories in the fact that
she was faithful and true to her master; she says, 'It made me true to my
God'-meaning, that it helped to form in her a character that loved truth,
and hated a lie, and had saved her from the bitter pains and fears that
are sure to follow in the wake of insincerity and hypocrisy.
As she advanced in years, an attachment sprung up between herself and a
slave named Robert. But his master, an Englishman by the name of Catlin,
anxious that no one's property but his own should be enhanced by the
increase of his slaves, forbade Robert's visits to Isabella, and commanded
him to take a wife among his fellow-servants. Notwithstanding this
interdiction, Robert, following the bent of his inclinations, continued
his visits to Isabel, though very stealthily, and, as he believed, without
exciting the suspicion of his master; but one Saturday afternoon, hearing
that Bell was ill, he took the liberty to go and see her. The first
intimation she had of his visit was the appearance of her master,
inquiring 'if she had seen Bob.' On her answering in the negative, he said
to her, 'If you see him, tell him to take care of himself, for the Catlins
are after him.' Almost at that instant, Bob made his appearance; and the
first people he met were his old and his young masters. They were terribly
enraged at finding him there, and the eldest began cursing, and calling
upon his son to 'Knock down the d-d black rascal'; at the same time, they
both fell upon him like tigers, beating him with the heavy ends of their
canes, bruising and mangling his head and face in the most awful manner,
and causing the blood, which streamed from his wounds, to cover him like a
slaughtered beast, constituting him a most shocking spectacle. Mr. Dumont
interposed at this point, telling the ruffians they could no longer thus
spill human blood on his premises-he would have 'no niggers killed there.'
The Catlins then took a rope they had taken with them for the purpose, and
tied Bob's hands behind him in such a manner, that Mr. Dumont insisted on
loosening the cord, declaring that no brute should be tied in that manner,
where he was. And as they led him away, like the greatest of criminals,
the more humane Dumont followed them to their homes, as Robert's
protector; and when he returned, he kindly went to Bell, as he called her,
telling her he did not think they would strike him any more, as their
wrath had greatly cooled before he left them. Isabella had witnessed this
scene from her window, and was greatly shocked at the murderous treatment
of poor Robert, whom she truly loved, and whose only crime, in the eye of
his persecutors, was his affection for her. This beating, and we know not
what after treatment, completely subdued the spirit of its victim, for
Robert ventured no more to visit Isabella, but like an obedient and
faithful chattel, took himself a wife from the house of his master. Robert
did not live many years after his last visit to Isabel, but took his
departure to that country, where 'they neither marry nor are given in
marriage,' and where the oppressor cannot molest.
ISABELLA'S MARRIAGE.
Subsequently, Isabella was married to a fellow-slave, named Thomas, who
had previously had two wives, one of whom, if not both, had been torn from
him and sold far away. And it is more than probable, that he was not only
allowed but encouraged to take another at each successive sale. I say it
is probable, because the writer of this knows from personal observation,
that such is the custom among slaveholders at the present day; and that in
a twenty months' residence among them, we never knew any one to open the
lip against the practice; and when we severely censured it, the
slaveholder had nothing to say; and the slave pleaded that, under existing
circumstances, he could do no better.
Such an abominable state of things is silently tolerated, to say the
least, by slaveholders-deny it who may. And what is that religion that
sanctions, even by its silence, all that is embraced in the 'Peculiar
Institution? ' If there can be any thing more diametrically opposed to the
religion of Jesus, than the working of this
soul-killing system-which is as truly sanctioned by the religion of
America as are her ministers and churches-we wish to be shown where it can
be found.
We have said, Isabella was married to Thomas-she was, after the fashion
of slavery, one of the slaves performing the ceremony for them; as no true
minister of Christ can perform, as in the presence of God, what he knows
to be a mere farce, a mock marriage, unrecognised by any civil law, and
liable to be annulled any moment, when the interest or caprice of the
master should dictate.
With what feelings must slaveholders expect us to listen to their
horror of amalgamation in prospect, while they are well aware that we know
how calmly and quietly they contemplate the present state of
licentiousness their own wicked laws have created, not only as it regards
the slave, but as it regards the more privileged portion of the population
of the South?
Slaveholders appear to me to take the same notice of the vices of the
slave, as one does of the vicious disposition of his horse. They are often
an inconvenience; further than that, they care not to trouble themselves
about the matter.
ISABELLA AS A MOTHER.
In process of time, Isabella found herself the mother of five children,
and she rejoiced in being permitted to be the instrument of increasing the
property of her oppressors! Think, dear reader, without a blush, if you
can, for one moment, of a mother thus willingly, and with pride, laying
her own children, the 'flesh of her flesh,' on the altar of slavery-a
sacrifice to the bloody Moloch! But we must remember that beings capable
of such sacrifices are not mothers; they are only 'things,' 'chattels,'
'property.'
But since that time, the subject of this narrative has made some
advances from a state of chattelism towards that of a woman and a mother;
and she now looks back upon her thoughts and feelings there, in her state
of ignorance and degradation,
as one does on the dark imagery of a fitful dream. One moment it seems but
a frightful illusion; again it appears a terrible reality. I would to God
it were but a dreamy myth, and not, as it now stands, a horrid reality to
some three millions of chattelized human beings.
I have already alluded to her care not to teach her children to steal,
by her example; and she says, with groanings that cannot be written, 'The
Lord only knows how many times I let my children go hungry, rather than
take secretly the bread I liked not to ask for.' All parents who annul
their preceptive teachings by their daily practices would do well to
profit by her example.
Another proof of her master's kindness of heart is found in the
following fact. If her master came into the house and found her infant
crying, (as she could not always attend to its wants and the commands of
her mistress at the same time,) he would turn to his wife with a look of
reproof, and ask her why she did not see the child taken care of; saying,
most earnestly, 'I will not hear this crying; I can't bear it, and I will
not hear any child cry so. Here, Bell, take care of this child, if no more
work is done for a week.' And he would linger to see if his orders were
obeyed, and not countermanded.
When Isabella went to the field to work, she used to put her infant in
a basket, tying a rope to each handle, and suspending the basket to a
branch of a tree, set another small child to swing it. It was thus secure
from reptiles and was easily administered to, and even lulled to sleep, by
a child too young for other labors. I was quite struck with the ingenuity
of such a baby-tender, as I have sometimes been with the swinging hammock
the native mother prepares for her sick infant-apparently so much easier
than aught we have in our more civilized homes; easier for the child,
because it gets the motion without the least jar; and easier for the
nurse, because the hammock is strung so high as to supersede the necessity
of stooping.
SLAVEHOLDER'S PROMISES.
After emancipation had been decreed by the State, some years before the
time fixed for its consummation, Isabella's master told her if she would
do well, and be faithful, he would give her 'free papers,' one year before
she was legally free by statute. In the year 1826, she had a badly
diseased hand, which greatly diminished her usefulness; but on the arrival
of July 4, 1827, the time specified for her receiving her 'free papers,'
she claimed the fulfilment of her master's promise; but he refused
granting it, on account (as he alleged) of the loss he had sustained by
her hand. She plead that she had worked all the time, and done many things
she was not wholly able to do, although she knew she had been less useful
than formerly; but her master remained inflexible. Her very faithfulness
probably operated against her now, and he found it less easy than he
thought to give up the profits of his faithful Bell, who had so long done
him efficient service.
But Isabella inwardly determined that she would remain quietly with him
only until she had spun his wool-about one hundred pounds-and then she
would leave him, taking the rest of the time to herself. 'Ah!' she says,
with emphasis that cannot be written, 'the slaveholders are TERRIBLE for
promising to give you this or that, or such and such a privilege, if you
will do thus and so; and when the time of fulfilment comes, and one claims
the promise, they, forsooth, recollect nothing of the kind: and you are,
like as not, taunted with being a LIAR; or, at best, the slave is accused
of not having performed his part or condition of the contract.' 'Oh!' said
she, 'I have felt as if I could not live through the operation sometimes.
Just think of us! so eager for our pleasures, and just foolish enough to
keep feeding and feeding ourselves up with the idea that we should get
what had been thus fairly promised; and when we think it is almost in our
hands, find ourselves flatly denied! Just think! how could we bear it?
Why, there was Charles Brodhead promised his slave Ned, that when
harvesting was over, he might go and see his wife, who lived some twenty
or thirty miles off. So Ned worked early and late, and as soon as the
harvest was all in, he claimed the promised boon. His master said, he had
merely told him he 'would see if he could go, when the harvest was over;
but now he saw that he could not go.' But Ned, who still claimed a
positive promise, on which he had fully depended, went on cleaning his
shoes. His master asked him if he intended going, and on his replying
'yes,' took up a sled-stick that lay near him, and gave him such a blow on
the head as broke his skull, killing him dead on the spot. The poor
colored people all felt struck down by the blow.' Ah! and well they might.
Yet it was but one of a long series of bloody, and other most effectual
blows, struck against their liberty and their lives. * But to return from
our digression.
The subject of this narrative was to have been free July 4, 1827, but
she continued with her master till the wool was spun, and the heaviest of
the 'fall's work' closed up, when she concluded to take her freedom into
her own hands, and seek her fortune in some other place.
Note:
*Yet no official notice was taken of his more than brutal murder.
HER ESCAPE.
The question in her mind, and one not easily solved, now was, 'How can
I get away?' So, as was her usual custom, she 'told God she was afraid to
go in the night, and in the day every body would see her.' At length, the
thought came to her that she could leave just before the day dawned, and
get out of the neighborhood where she was known before the people were
much astir. 'Yes,' said she, fervently, 'that's a good thought! Thank you,
God, for that thought!' So, receiving it as coming direct from God, she
acted upon it, and one fine morning, a little before day-break, she might
have been seen stepping stealthily away from the rear of Master Dumont's
house, her infant on one arm and her wardrobe on the other; the bulk and
weight of which, probably, she never found so convenient as on the present
occasion, a cotton handkerchief containing both her clothes and her
provisions.
As she gained the summit of a high hill, a considerable distance from
her master's, the sun offended her by coming forth in all his pristine
splendor. She thought it never was so light before; indeed, she thought it
much too light. She stopped to look about her, and ascertain if her
pursuers were yet in sight. No one appeared, and, for the first time, the
question came up for settlement, 'Where, and to whom, shall I go?' In all
her thoughts of getting away, she had not once asked herself whither she
should direct her steps. She sat down, fed her infant, and again turning
her thoughts to God, her only help, she prayed him to direct her to some
safe asylum. And soon it occurred to her, that there was a man living
somewhere in the direction she had been pursuing, by the name of Levi
Rowe, whom she had known, and who, she thought, would be likely to
befriend her. She accordingly pursued her way to his house, where she
found him ready to entertain and assist her, though he was then on his
death-bed. He bade her partake of the hospitalities of his house, said he
knew of two good places where she might get in, and requested his wife to
show her where they were to be found. As soon as she came in sight of the
first house, she recollected having seen it and its inhabitants before,
and instantly exclaimed, 'That's the place for me; I shall stop there.'
She went there, and found the good people of the house, Mr. and Mrs. Van
Wagener, absent, but was kindly received and hospitably entertained by
their excellent mother, till the return of her children. When they
arrived, she made her case known to them. They listened to her story,
assuring her they never turned the needy away, and willingly gave her
employment.
She had not been there long before her old master, Dumont, appeared, as
she had anticipated; for when she took French leave of him, she resolved
not to go too far from him, and not put him to as much trouble in looking
her up-for the latter he was sure to do-as Tom and Jack had done when they
ran away from him, a short time before. This was very considerate in her,
to say the least, and a proof that 'like begets like.' He had often
considered her feelings, though not always, and she was equally
considerate.
When her master saw her, he said, 'Well, Bell, so you've run away from
me.' 'No, I did not run away; I walked away by day-light, and all because
you had promised me a year of my time.' His reply was, 'You must go back
with me.' Her decisive answer was, 'No, I won't go back with you.' He
said, 'Well, I shall take the child.' This also was as stoutly negatived.
Mr. Isaac S. Van Wagener then interposed, saying, he had never been in
the practice of buying and selling slaves; he did not believe in slavery;
but, rather than have Isabella taken back by force, he would buy her
services for the balance of the year-for which her master charged twenty
dollars, and five in addition for the child. The sum was paid, and her
master Dumont departed; but not till he had heard Mr. Van Wagener tell her
not to call him master-adding, 'there is but one master; and he who is
your master is my master.' Isabella inquired what she should call him? He
answered, 'call me Isaac Van Wagener, and my wife is Maria Van Wagener.'
Isabella could not understand this, and thought it a mighty change, as it
most truly was from a master whose word was law, to simple Isaac S. Van
Wagener, who was master to no one. With these noble people, who, though
they could not be the masters of slaves, were undoubtedly a portion of
God's nobility, she resided one year, and from them she derived the name
of Van Wagener; he being her last master in the eye of the law, and a
slave's surname is ever the same as his master; that is, if he is allowed
to have any other name than Tom, Jack, or Guffin. Slaves have sometimes
been severely punished for adding their master's name to their own. But
when they have no particular title to it, it is no particular offence.
ILLEGAL SALE OF HER SON.
A little previous to Isabel's leaving her old master, he had sold her
child, a boy of five years, to a Dr. Gedney, who took him with him as far
as New York city, on his way to England; but finding the boy too small for
his service, he sent him back to his brother, Solomon Gedney. This man
disposed of him to his sister's husband, a wealthy planter, by the name of
Fowler, who took him to his own home in Alabama.
This illegal and fraudulent transaction had been perpetrated some
months before Isabella knew of it, as she was now living at Mr. Van
Wagener's. The law expressly prohibited the sale of any slave out of the
State,-and all minors were to be free at twenty-one years of age; and Mr.
Dumont had sold Peter with the express understanding, that he was soon to
return to the State of New York, and be emancipated at the specified time.
When Isabel heard that her son had been sold South, she immediately
started on foot and alone, to find the man who had thus dared, in the face
of all law, human and divine, to sell her child out of the State; and if
possible, to bring him to account for the deed.
Arriving at New Paltz, she went directly to her former mistress,
Dumont, complaining bitterly of the removal of her son. Her mistress heard
her through, and then replied-'Ugh! a fine fuss to make about a little
nigger! Why, haven't you as many of 'em left as you can see to, and take
care of? A pity 'tis, the niggers are not all in Guinea!! Making such a
halloo-balloo about the neighborhood; and all for a paltry nigger!!!'
Isabella heard her through, and after a moment's hesitation, answered, in
tones of deep determination-'I'll have my child again.' 'Have your child
again!' repeated her mistress-her tones big with contempt, and scorning
the absurd idea of her getting him. 'How can you get him? And what have
you to support him with, if you could? Have you any money?' 'No,' answered
Bell, 'I have no money, but God has enough, or what's better! And I'll
have my child again.' These words were pronounced in the most slow,
solemn, and determined measure and manner. And in speaking of it, she
says, 'Oh my God! I know'd I'd have him agin. I was sure God would help me
to get him. Why, I felt so tall within-I felt as if the power of a nation
was with me!'
The impressions made by Isabella on her auditors, when moved by lofty
or deep feeling, can never be transmitted to paper, (to use the words of
another,) till by some Daguerrian act, we are enabled to transfer the
look, the gesture, the tones of voice, in connection with the quaint, yet
fit expressions used, and the spirit-stirring animation that, at such a
time, pervades all she says.
After leaving her mistress, she called on Mrs. Gedney, mother of him
who had sold her boy; who, after listening to her lamentations, her grief
being mingled with indignation at the sale of her son, and her declaration
that she would have him again-said, 'Dear me! What a disturbance to make
about your child! What, is your child, better than my child? My child is
gone out there, and yours is gone to live with her, to have enough of
every thing, and be treated like a gentleman!' And here she laughed at
Isabel's absurd fears, as she would represent them to be. 'Yes,' said
Isabel, 'your child has gone there, but she is married, and my boy has
gone as a slave, and he is too little to go so far from his mother. Oh, I
must have my child.' And here the continued laugh of Mrs. G. seemed to
Isabel, in this time of anguish and distress, almost demoniacal. And well
it was for Mrs. Gedney, that, at that time, she could not even dream of
the awful fate awaiting her own beloved daughter, at the hands of him whom
she had chosen as worthy the wealth of her love and confidence, and in
whose society her young heart had calculated on a happiness, purer and
more elevated than was ever conferred by a kingly crown. But, alas! she
was doomed to disappointment, as we shall relate by and by. At this point,
Isabella earnestly begged of God that he would show to those about her
that He was her helper; and she adds, in narrating, 'And He did; or, if He
did not show them, he did me.'
IT IS OFTEN DARKEST JUST BEFORE DAWN.
This homely proverb was illustrated in the case of our sufferer; for,
at the period at which we have arrived in our narrative, to her the
darkness seemed palpable, and the waters of affliction covered her soul;
yet light was about to break in upon her.
Soon after the scenes related in our last chapter, which had harrowed
up her very soul to agony, she met a man, (we would like to tell you who,
dear reader, but it would be doing him no kindness, even at the present
day, to do so,) who evidently sympathized with her, and counselled her to
go to the Quakers, telling her they were already feeling very indignant at
the fraudulent sale of her son, and assuring her that they would readily
assist her, and direct her what to do. He pointed out to her two houses,
where lived some of those people, who formerly, more than any other sect,
perhaps, lived out the principles of the gospel of Christ. She wended her
way to their dwellings, was listened to, unknown as she personally was to
them, with patience, and soon gained their sympathies and active
co-operation.
They gave her lodgings for the night; and it is very amusing to hear
her tell of the 'nice, high, clean, white, beautiful bed' assigned her to
sleep in, which contrasted so strangely with her former pallets, that she
sat down and contemplated it, perfectly absorbed in wonder that such a bed
should have been appropriated to one like herself. For some time she
thought that she would lie down beneath it, on her usual bedstead, the
floor. 'I did, indeed,' says she, laughing heartily at her former self.
However, she finally concluded to make use of the bed, for fear that not
to do so might injure the feelings of her good hostess. In the morning,
the Quaker saw that she was taken and set down near Kingston, with
directions to go to the Court House, and enter complaint to the Grand
Jury.
By a little inquiry, she found which was the building she sought, went
into the door, and taking the first man she saw of imposing appearance for
the grand jury, she commenced her complaint. But he very civilly informed
her there was no Grand Jury there; she must go up stairs. When she had
with some difficulty ascended the flight through the crowd that filled
them, she again turned to the 'grandest ' looking man she could select,
telling him she had come to enter a complaint to the Grand Jury. For his
own amusement, he inquired what her complaint was; but, when he saw it was
a serious matter, he said to her, 'This is no place to enter a
complaint-go in there,' pointing in a particular direction.
She then went in, where she found the Grand Jurors indeed sitting, and
again commenced to relate her injuries. After holding some conversation
among themselves, one of them rose, and bidding her follow him, led the
way to a side office, where he heard her story, and asked her 'if she
could swear that the child she spoke of was her son?' 'Yes,' she answered,
'I swear it's my son.' 'Stop, stop!' said the lawyer, 'you must swear by
this book'-giving her a book, which she thinks must have been the Bible.
She took it, and putting it to her lips, began again to swear it was her
child. The clerks, unable to preserve their gravity any longer, burst into
an uproarious laugh; and one of them inquired of lawyer Chip of what use
it could be to make her swear. 'It will answer the law,' replied the
officer. He then made her comprehend just what he wished her to do, and
she took a lawful oath, as far as the outward ceremony could make it one.
All can judge how far she understood its spirit and meaning.
He now gave her a writ, directing her to take it to the constable at
New Paltz, and have him serve it on Solomon Gedney. She obeyed, walking,
or rather trotting, in her haste, some eight or nine miles.
But while the constable, through mistake, served the writ on a brother
of the real culprit, Solomon Gedney slipped into a boat, and was nearly
across the North River, on whose banks they were standing, before the dull
Dutch constable was aware of his mistake. Solomon Gedney, meanwhile,
consulted a lawyer, who advised him to go to Alabama and bring back the
boy, otherwise it might cost him fourteen years' imprisonment, and a
thousand dollars in cash. By this time, it is hoped he began to feel that
selling slaves unlawfully was not so good a business as he had wished to
find it. He secreted himself till due preparations could be made, and soon
set sail for Alabama. Steamboats and railroads had not then annihilated
distance to the extent they now have, and although he left in the fall of
the year, spring came ere he returned, bringing the boy with him-but
holding on to him as his property. It had ever been Isabella's prayer, not
only that her son might be returned, but that he should be delivered from
bondage, and into her own hands, lest he should be punished out of mere
spite to her, who was so greatly annoying and irritating to her
oppressors; and if her suit was gained, her very triumph would add vastly
to their irritation.
She again sought advice of Esquire Chip, whose counsel was, that the
aforesaid constable serve the before-mentioned writ upon the right person.
This being done, soon brought Solomon Gedney up to Kingston, where he gave
bonds for his appearance at court, in the sum of $600.
Esquire Chip next informed his client, that her case must now lie over
till the next session of the court, some months in the future. 'The law
must take its course,' said he.
'What! wait another court! wait months?' said the persevering mother.
'Why, long before that time, he can go clear off, and take my child with
him-no one knows where. I cannot wait; I must have him now, whilst he is
to be had.' 'Well,' said the lawyer, very coolly, 'if he puts the boy out
of the way, he must pay the $600-one half of which will be yours';
supposing, perhaps, that $300 would pay for a 'heap of children,' in the
eye of a slave who never, in all her life, called a dollar her own. But in
this instance, he was mistaken in his reckoning. She assured him, that she
had not been seeking money, neither would money satisfy her; it was her
son, and her son alone she wanted, and her son she must have. Neither
could she wait court, not she. The lawyer used his every argument to
convince her, that she ought to be very thankful for what they had done
for her; that it was a great deal, and it was but reasonable that she
should now wait patiently the time of the court.
Yet she never felt, for a moment, like being influenced by these
suggestions. She felt confident she was to receive a full and literal
answer to her prayer, the burden of which had been-'O Lord, give my son
into my hands, and that speedily! Let not the spoilers have him any
longer.' Notwithstanding, she very distinctly saw that those who had thus
far helped her on so kindly were wearied of her, and she feared God was
wearied also. She had a short time previous learned that Jesus was a
Saviour, and an intercessor; and she thought that if Jesus could but be
induced to plead
for her in the present trial, God would listen to him, though he were
wearied of her importunities. To him, of course, she applied. As she was
walking about, scarcely knowing whither she went, asking within herself,
'Who will show me any good, and lend a helping hand in this matter,' she
was accosted by a perfect stranger, and one whose name she has never
learned, in the following terms: 'Halloo, there; how do you get along with
your boy? do they give him up to you?' She told him all, adding that now
every body was tired, and she had none to help her. He said, 'Look here!
I'll tell you what you'd better do. Do you see that stone house yonder?'
pointing in a particular direction. 'Well, lawyer Demain lives there, and
do you go to him, and lay your case before him; I think he'll help you.
Stick to him. Don't give him peace till he does. I feel sure if you press
him, he'll do it for you.' She needed no further urging, but trotted off
at her peculiar gait in the direction of his house, as fast as
possible,-and she was not encumbered with stockings, shoes, or any other
heavy article of dress. When she had told him her story, in her
impassioned manner, he looked at her a few moments, as if to ascertain if
he were contemplating a new variety of the genus homo, and then told her,
if she would give him five dollars, he would get her son for her, in
twenty-four hours. 'Why,' she replied, 'I have no money, and never had a
dollar in my life!' Said he, 'If you will go to those Quakers in
Poppletown, who carried you to court, they will help you to five dollars
in cash, I have no doubt; and you shall have your son in twenty-four
hours, from the time you bring me that sum.' She performed the journey to
Poppletown, a distance of some ten miles, very expeditiously; collected
considerable more than the sum specified by the barrister; then, shutting
the money tightly in her hand, she trotted back, and paid the lawyer a
larger fee than he had demanded. When inquired of by people what she had
done with the overplus, she answered, 'Oh, I got it for lawyer Demain, and
I gave it to him. ' They assured her she was a fool to do so; that she
should have kept all over five dollars, and purchased herself shoes with
it. 'Oh, I do not want money or clothes now, I only want my son; and if
five dollars will get him, more will surely get him. ' And if the lawyer
had returned it to her, she avers she would not have accepted it. She was
perfectly willing he should have every coin she could raise, if he would
but restore her lost son to her. Moreover, the five dollars he required
were for the remuneration of him who should go after her son and his
master, and not for his own services.
The lawyer now renewed his promise, that she should have her son in
twenty-four hours. But Isabella, having no idea of this space of time,
went several times in a day, to ascertain if her son had come. Once, when
the servant opened the door and saw her, she said, in a tone expressive of
much surprise, 'Why, this woman's come again!' She then wondered if she
went too often. When the lawyer appeared, he told her the twenty-four
hours would not expire till the next morning; if she would call then, she
would see her son. The next morning saw Isabel at the lawyer's door, while
he was yet in his bed. He now assured her it was morning till noon; and
that before noon her son would be there, for he had sent the famous 'Matty
Styles' after him, who would not fail to have the boy and his master on
hand in due season, either dead or alive; of that he was sure. Telling her
she need not come again; he would himself inform her of their arrival.
After dinner, he appeared at Mr. Rutzer's, (a place the lawyer had
procured for her, while she awaited the arrival of her boy,) assuring her,
her son had come; but that he stoutly denied having any mother, or any
relatives in that place; and said, 'she must go over and identify him.'
She went to the office, but at sight of her the boy cried aloud, and
regarded her as some terrible being, who was about to take him away from a
kind and loving friend. He knelt, even, and begged them, with tears, not
to take him away from his dear master, who had brought him from the
dreadful South, and been so kind to him.
When he was questioned relative to the bad scar on his forehead, he
said, 'Fowler's horse hove him.' And of the one on his cheek, 'That was
done by running against the carriage.' In answering these questions, he
looked imploringly at his master, as much as to say, 'If they are
falsehoods, you bade me say them; may they be satisfactory to you, at
least.'
The justice, noting his appearance, bade him forget his master and
attend only to him. But the boy persisted in denying his mother, and
clinging to his master, saying his mother did not live in such a place as
that. However, they allowed the mother to identify her son; and Esquire
Demain pleaded that he claimed the boy for her, on the ground that he had
been sold out of the State, contrary to the laws in such cases made and
provided-spoke of the penalties annexed to said crime, and of the sum of
money the delinquent was to pay, in case any one chose to prosecute him
for the offence he had committed. Isabella, who was sitting in a corner,
scarcely daring to breathe, thought within herself, 'If I can but get the
boy, the $200 may remain for whoever else chooses to prosecute-I have done
enough to make myself enemies already'-and she trembled at the thought of
the formidable enemies she had probably arrayed against herself-helpless
and despised as she was. When the pleading was at an end, Isabella
understood the Judge to declare, as the sentence of the Court, that the
'boy be delivered into the hands of the mother-having no other master, no
other controller, no other conductor, but his mother.' This sentence was
obeyed; he was delivered into her hands, the boy meanwhile begging, most
piteously, not to be taken from his dear master, saying she was not his
mother, and that his mother did not live in such a place as that. And it
was some time before lawyer Demain, the clerks, and Isabella, could
collectively succeed in calming the child's fears, and in convincing him
that Isabella was not some terrible monster, as he had for the last
months, probably, been trained to believe; and who, in taking him away
from his master, was taking him from all good, and consigning him to all
evil.
When at last kind words and bon-bons had quieted his fears, and he
could listen to their explanations, he said to Isabella- 'Well, you do
look like my mother used to'; and she was soon able to make him comprehend
some of the obligations he was under, and the relation he stood in, both
to herself and his master. She commenced as soon as practicable to examine
the boy, and found, to her utter astonishment, that from the crown of his
head to the sole of his foot, the callosities and indurations on his
entire body were most frightful to behold. His back she described as being
like her fingers, as she laid them side by side.
'Heavens! what is all this? ' said Isabel. He answered, 'It is where
Fowler whipped, kicked, and beat me.' She exclaimed, 'Oh, Lord Jesus,
look! see my poor child! Oh Lord, "render unto them double" for
all this! Oh my God! Pete, how did you bear it?'
'Oh, this is nothing, mammy-if you should see Phillis, I guess you'd
scare! She had a little baby, and Fowler cut her till the milk as well as
blood ran down her body. You would scare to see Phillis, mammy.'
When Isabella inquired, 'What did Miss Eliza * say, Pete, when you were
treated so badly?' he replied, 'Oh, mammy, she said she wished I was with
Bell. Sometimes I crawled under the stoop, mammy, the blood running all
about me, and my back would stick to the boards; and sometimes Miss Eliza
would come and grease my sores, when all were abed and asleep.'
Note:
*Meaning Mrs. Eliza Fowler.
DEATH OF MRS. ELIZA FOWLER.
As soon as possible she procured a place for Peter, as tender of locks,
at a place called Wahkendall, near Greenkills. After he was thus disposed
of, she visited her sister Sophia, who resided at Newberg, and spent the
winter in several different families where she was acquainted. She
remained some time in the family of a Mr. Latin, who was a relative of
Solomon Gedney; and the latter, when he found Isabel with his cousin, used
all his influence to persuade him she was a great mischief-maker and a
very troublesome person,-that she had put him to some hundreds of dollars
expense, by fabricating lies about him, and especially his sister and her
family, concerning her boy, when the latter was living so like a gentleman
with them; and, for his part, he would not advise his friends to harbor or
encourage her. However, his cousins, the Latins, could not see with the
eyes of his feelings, and consequently his words fell powerless on them,
and they retained her in their service as long as they had aught for her
to do.
She then went to visit her former master, Dumont. She had scarcely
arrived there, when Mr. Fred. Waring entered, and seeing Isabel,
pleasantly accosted her, and asked her 'what she was driving at
now-a-days.' On her answering 'nothing particular,' he requested her to go
over to his place, and assist his folks, as some of them were sick, and
they needed an extra hand. She very gladly assented. When Mr. W. retired,
her master wanted to know why she wished to help people, that called her
the 'worst of devils,' as Mr. Waring had done in the courthouse-for he was
the uncle of Solomon Gedney, and attended the trial we have described-and
declared 'that she was a fool to; he wouldn't do it.' 'Oh,' she told him,
'she would not mind that, but was very glad to have people forget their
anger towards her.' She went over, but too happy to feel that their
resentment was passed, and commenced her work with a light heart and a
strong will. She had not worked long in this frame of mind, before a young
daughter of Mr. Waring rushed into the rooms exclaiming, with uplifted
hands-'Heavens and earth, Isabella! Fowler's murdered Cousin Eliza!' 'Ho,'
said Isabel, 'that's nothing-he liked to have killed my child; nothing
saved him but God.' Meaning, that she was not at all surprised at it, for
a man whose heart was sufficiently hardened to treat a mere child as hers
had been treated, was, in her opinion, more fiend than human, and prepared
for the commission of any crime that his passions might prompt him to. The
child further informed her that a letter had arrived by mail bringing the
news.
Immediately after this announcement, Solomon Gedney and his mother came
in, going direct to Mrs. Waring's room, where she soon heard tones as of
some one reading. She thought something said to her inwardly, 'Go up
stairs and hear.' At first she hesitated, but it seemed to press her the
more-'Go up and hear!' She went up, unusual as it is for slaves to leave
their work and enter unbidden their mistress's room, for the sole purpose
of seeing or hearing what may be seen or heard there. But on this
occasion, Isabella says, she walked in at the door, shut it, placed her
back against it, and listened. She saw them and heard them read-'He
knocked her down with his fist, jumped on her with his knees, broke her
collar-bone, and tore out her wind-pipe! He then attempted his escape, but
was pursued and arrested, and put in an iron bank for safe-keeping!' And
the friends were requested to go down and take away the poor innocent
children who had thus been made in one short day more than orphans.
If this narrative should ever meet the eye of those innocent sufferers
for another's guilt, let them not be too deeply affected by the relation;
but, placing their confidence in Him who sees the end from the beginning,
and controls the results, rest secure in the faith, that, although they
may physically suffer for the sins of others, if they remain but true to
themselves, their highest and more enduring interests can never suffer
from such a cause. This relation should be suppressed for their sakes,
were it not even now so often denied, that slavery is fast undermining all
true regard for human life. We know this one instance is not a
demonstration to the contrary; but, adding this to the lists of tragedies
that weekly come up to us through the Southern mails, may we not admit
them as proofs irrefragable? The newspapers confirmed this account of the
terrible affair.
When Isabella had heard the letter, all being too much absorbed in
their own feelings to take note of her, she returned to her work, her
heart swelling with conflicting emotions. She was awed at the dreadful
deed; she mourned the fate of the loved Eliza, who had in such an
undeserved and barbarous manner been put away from her labors and
watchings as a tender mother; and, 'last though not least,' in the
development of her character and spirit, her heart bled for the afflicted
relatives; even those of them who 'laughed at her calamity, and mocked
when her fear came.' Her thoughts dwelt long and intently on the subject,
and the wonderful chain of events that had conspired to bring her that day
to that house, to listen to that piece of intelligence-to that house,
where she never was before or afterwards in her life, and invited there by
people who had so lately been hotly incensed against her. It all seemed
very remarkable to her, and she viewed it as flowing from a special
providence of God. She thought she saw clearly, that their unnatural
bereavement was a blow dealt in retributive justice; but she found it not
in her heart to exult or rejoice over them. She felt as if God had more
than answered her petition, when she ejaculated, in her anguish of mind,
'Oh, Lord, render unto them double!' She said, 'I dared not find fault
with God, exactly; but the language of my heart was, 'Oh, my God! that's
too much-I did not mean quite so much, God!' It was a terrible blow to the
friends of the deceased; and her selfish mother (who, said Isabella, made
such a 'to-do about her boy, not from affection, but to have her own will
and way') went deranged, and walking to and fro in her delirium, called
aloud for her poor murdered daughter-'Eliza! Eliza! '
The derangement of Mrs. G. was a matter of hearsay, as Isabella saw her
not after the trial; but she has no reason to doubt the truth of what she
heard. Isabel could never learn the subsequent fate of Fowler, but heard,
in the spring of '49, that his children had been seen in Kingston-one of
whom was spoken of as a fine, interesting girl, albeit a halo of sadness
fell like a veil
about her.
ISABELLA'S RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.
We will now turn from the outward and temporal to the inward and
spiritual life of our subject. It is ever both interesting and instructive
to trace the exercises of a human mind, through the trials and mysteries
of life; and especially a naturally powerful mind, left as hers was almost
entirely to its own workings, and the chance influences it met on its way;
and especially to note its reception of that divine 'light, that lighteth
every man that cometh into the world.'
We see, as knowledge dawns upon it, truth and error strangely
commingled; here, a bright spot illuminated by truth-and there, one
darkened and distorted by error; and the state of such a soul may be
compared to a landscape at early dawn, where the sun is seen superbly
gilding some objects, and causing others to send forth their lengthened,
distorted, and sometimes hideous shadows.
Her mother, as we have already said, talked to her of God. From these
conversations, her incipient mind drew the conclusion, that God was 'a
great man'; greatly superior to other men in power; and being located
'high in the sky,' could see all that transpired on the earth. She
believed he not only saw, but noted down all her actions in a great book,
even as her master kept a record of whatever he wished not to forget. But
she had no idea that God knew a thought of hers till she had uttered it
aloud.
As we have before mentioned, she had ever been mindful of her mother's
injunctions, spreading out in detail all her troubles before God,
imploring and firmly trusting him to send her deliverance from them.
Whilst yet a child, she listened to a story of a wounded soldier, left
alone in the trail of a flying army, helpless and starving, who hardened
the very ground about him with kneeling in his supplications to God for
relief, until it arrived. From this narrative, she was deeply impressed
with the idea, that if she also were to present her petitions under the
open canopy of heaven, speaking very loud, she should the more readily be
heard; consequently, she sought a fitting spot for this, her rural
sanctuary. The place she selected, in which to offer up her daily orisons,
was a small island in a small stream, covered with large willow shrubbery,
beneath which the sheep had made their pleasant winding paths; and
sheltering themselves from the scorching rays of a noon-tide sun,
luxuriated in the cool shadows of the graceful willows, as they listened
to the tiny falls of the silver waters. It was a lonely spot, and chosen
by her for its beauty, its retirement, and because she thought that there,
in the noise of those waters, she could speak louder to God, without being
overheard by any who might pass that way. When she had made choice of her
sanctum, at a point of the island where the stream met, after having been
separated, she improved it by pulling away the branches of the shrubs from
the centre, and weaving them together for a wall on the outside, forming a
circular arched alcove, made entirely of the graceful willow. To this
place she resorted daily, and in pressing times much more frequently.
At this time, her prayers, or, more appropriately, 'talks with God,'
were perfectly original and unique, and would be well worth preserving,
were it possible to give the tones and manner with the words; but no
adequate idea of them can be written while the tones and manner remain
inexpressible.
She would sometimes repeat, 'Our Father in heaven,' in her Low Dutch,
as taught her by her mother; after that, all was from the suggestions of
her own rude mind. She related to God, in minute detail, all her troubles
and sufferings, inquiring, as she proceeded, 'Do you think that's right,
God?' and closed by begging to be delivered from the evil, whatever it
might be.
She talked to God as familiarly as if he had been a creature like
herself; and a thousand times more so, than if she had been in the
presence of some earthly potentate. She demanded, with little expenditure
of reverence or fear, a supply of all her more pressing wants, and at
times her demands approached very near to commands. She felt as if God was
under obligation to her, much more than she was to him. He seemed to her
benighted vision in some manner bound to do her bidding.
Her heart recoils now, with very dread, when she recalls those
shocking, almost blasphemous conversations with great Jehovah. And well
for herself did she deem it, that, unlike earthly potentates, his infinite
character combined the tender father with the omniscient and omnipotent
Creator of the universe.
She at first commenced promising God, that if he would help her out of
all her difficulties, she would pay him by being very good; and this
goodness she intended as a remuneration to God. She could think of no
benefit that was to accrue to herself or her fellow-creatures, from her
leading a life of purity and generous self-sacrifice for the good of
others; as far as any but God was concerned, she saw nothing in it but
heart-trying penance, sustained by the sternest exertion; and this she
soon found much more easily promised than performed.
Days wore away-new trials came-God's aid was invoked, and the same
promises repeated; and every successive night found her part of the
contract unfulfilled. She now began to excuse herself, by telling God she
could not be good in her present circumstances; but if he would give her a
new place, and a good master and mistress, she could and would be good;
and she expressly stipulated, that she would be good one day to show God
how good she would be all of the time, when he should surround her with
the right influences, and she should be delivered from the temptations
that then so sorely beset her. But, alas! when night came, and she became
conscious that she had yielded to all her temptations, and entirely failed
of keeping her word with God, having prayed and promised one hour, and
fallen into the sins of anger and profanity the next, the mortifying
reflection weighed on her mind, and blunted her enjoyment. Still, she did
not lay it deeply to heart, but continued to repeat her demands for aid,
and her promises of pay, with full purpose of heart, at each particular
time, that that day she would not fail to keep her plighted word.
Thus perished the inward spark, like a flame just igniting, when one
waits to see whether it will burn on or die out, till the long desired
change came, and she found herself in a new place, with a good mistress,
and one who never instigated an otherwise kind master to be unkind to her;
in short, a place where she had literally nothing to complain of, and
where, for a time, she was more happy than she could well express. 'Oh,
every thing there was so pleasant, and kind, and good, and all so
comfortable; enough of every thing; indeed, it was beautiful!' she
exclaimed.
Here, at Mr. Van Wagener's,-as the reader will readily perceive she
must have been,-she was so happy and satisfied, that God was entirely
forgotten. Why should her thoughts turn to him, who was only known to her
as a help in trouble? She had no trouble now; her every prayer had been
answered in every minute particular. She had been delivered from her
persecutors and temptations, her youngest child had been given her, and
the others she knew she had no means of sustaining if she had them with
her, and was content to leave them behind. Their father, who was much
older than Isabel, and who preferred serving his time out in slavery, to
the trouble and dangers of the course she pursued, remained with and could
keep an eye on them-though it is comparatively little that they can do for
each other while they remain in slavery; and this little the slave, like
persons in every other situation of life, is not always disposed to
perform. There are slaves, who, copying the selfishness of their superiors
in power, in their conduct towards their fellows who may be thrown upon
their mercy, by infirmity or illness, allow them to suffer for want of
that kindness and care which it is fully in their power to render them.
The slaves in this country have ever been allowed to celebrate the
principal, if not some of the lesser festivals observed by the Catholics
and Church of England;-many of them not being required to do the least
service for several days, and at Christmas they have almost universally an
entire week to themselves, except, perhaps, the attending to a few duties,
which are absolutely required for the comfort of the families they belong
to. If much service is desired, they are hired to do it, and paid for it
as if they were free. The more sober portion of them spend these holidays
in earning a little money. Most of them visit and attend parties and
balls, and not a few of them spend it in the lowest dissipation. This
respite from toil is granted them by all religionists, of whatever
persuasion, and probably originated from the fact that many of the first
slaveholders were members of the Church of England.
Frederick Douglass, who has devoted his great heart and noble talents
entirely to the furtherance of the cause of his down-trodden race, has
said-'From what I know of the effect of their holidays upon the slave, I
believe them to be among the most effective means, in the hands of the
slaveholder, in keeping down the spirit of insurrection. Were the
slaveholders at once to abandon this practice, I have not the slightest
doubt it would lead to an immediate insurrection among the slaves. These
holidays serve as conductors, or safety-valves, to carry off the
rebellious spirit of enslaved humanity. But for these, the slave would be
forced up to the wildest desperation; and woe betide the slaveholder, the
day he ventures to remove or hinder the operation of those conductors! I
warn him that, in such an event, a spirit will go forth in their midst,
more to be dreaded than the most appalling earthquake.'
When Isabella had been at Mr. Van Wagener's a few months, she saw in
prospect one of the festivals approaching. She knows it by none but the
Dutch name, Pingster, as she calls it-but I think it must have been
Whitsuntide, in English. She says she 'looked back into Egypt,' and every
thing looked 'so pleasant there,' as she saw retrospectively all her
former companions enjoying their freedom for at least a little space, as
well as their wonted convivialities, and in her heart she longed to be
with them. With this picture before her mind's eye, she contrasted the
quiet, peaceful life she was living with the excellent people of
Wahkendall, and it seemed so dull and void of incident, that the very
contrast served but to heighten her desire to return, that, at least, she
might enjoy with them, once more, the coming festivities. These feelings
had occupied a secret corner of her breast for some time, when, one
morning, she told Mrs. Van Wagener that her old master Dumont would come
that day, and that she should go home with him on his return. They
expressed some surprise, and asked her where she obtained her information.
She replied, that no one had told her, but she felt that he would come.
It seemed to have been one of those 'events that cast their shadows
before'; for, before night, Mr. Dumont made his appearance. She informed
him of her intention to accompany him home. He answered, with a smile, 'I
shall not take you back again; you ran away from me.' Thinking his manner
contradicted his words, she did not feel repulsed, but made herself and
child ready; and when her former master had seated himself in the open
dearborn, she walked towards it, intending to place herself and child in
the rear, and go with him. But, ere she reached the vehicle, she says that
God revealed himself to her, with all the suddenness of a flash of
lightning, showing her, 'in the twinkling of an eye, that he was all
over'-that he pervaded the universe-'and that there was no place where God
was not.' She became instantly conscious of her great sin in forgetting
her almighty Friend and 'ever-present help in time of trouble.' All her
unfulfilled promises arose before her, like a vexed sea whose waves run
mountains high; and her soul, which seemed but one mass of lies, shrunk
back aghast from the 'awful look' of him whom she had formerly talked to,
as if he had been a being like herself; and she would now fain have hid
herself in the bowels of the earth, to have escaped his dread presence.
But she plainly saw there was no place, not even in hell, where he was
not; and where could she flee? Another such 'a look,' as she expressed it,
and she felt that she must be extinguished forever, even as one, with the
breath of his mouth, 'blows out a lamp,' so that no spark remains.
A dire dread of annihilation now seized her, and she waited to see if,
by 'another look,' she was to be stricken from existence,-swallowed
up, even as the fire licketh up the oil with which it comes in contact.
When at last the second look came not, and her attention was once more
called to outward things, she observed her master had left, and exclaiming
aloud, 'Oh, God, I did not know you were so big,' walked into the house,
and made an effort to resume her work. But the workings of the inward man
were too absorbing to admit of much attention to her avocations. She
desired to talk to God, but her vileness utterly forbade it, and she was
not able to prefer a petition. 'What!' said she, 'shall I lie again to
God? I have told him nothing but lies; and shall I speak again, and tell
another lie to God?' She could not; and now she began to wish for some one
to speak to God for her. Then a space seemed opening between her and God,
and she felt that if some one, who was worthy in the sight of heaven,
would but plead for her in their own name, and not let God know it came
from her, who was so unworthy, God might grant it. At length a friend
appeared to stand between herself and an insulted Deity; and she felt as
sensibly refreshed as when, on a hot day, an umbrella had been interposed
between her scorching head and a burning sun. But who was this friend?
became the next inquiry. Was it Deencia, who had so often befriended her?
She looked at her, with her new power of sight-and, lo! she, too, seemed
all 'bruises and putrifying sores,' like herself. No, it was some one very
different from Deencia.
'Who are you?' she exclaimed, as the vision brightened into a form
distinct, beaming with the beauty of holiness, and radiant with love. She
then said, audibly addressing the mysterious visitant-'I
know you, and I don't know you.' Meaning, 'You seem perfectly familiar;
I feel that you not only love me, but that you always have loved me-yet I
know you not-I cannot call you by name.' When she said, 'I know you,' the
subject of the vision remained distinct and quiet. When she said, 'I don't
know you,' it moved restlessly about, like agitated waters. So while she
repeated, without intermission, 'I know you, I know you,' that the vision
might remain-'Who are you?' was the cry of her heart, and her whole soul
was in one deep prayer that this heavenly personage might be revealed to
her, and remain with her. At length, after bending both soul and body with
the intensity of this desire, till breath and strength seemed failing, and
she could maintain her position no
longer, an answer came to her, saying distinctly, 'It is Jesus.' 'Yes,'
she responded, 'it is Jesus.'
Previous to these exercises of mind, she heard Jesus mentioned in
reading or speaking, but had received from what she heard no impression
that he was any other than an eminent man, like a Washington or a
Lafayette. Now he appeared to her delighted mental vision as so mild, so
good, and so every way lovely, and he loved her so much! And, how strange
that he had always loved her, and she had never known it! And how great a
blessing he conferred, in that he should stand between her and God! And
God was no longer a terror and a dread to her.
She stopped not to argue the point, even in her own mind, whether he
had reconciled her to God, or God to herself, (though she thinks the
former now,) being but
too happy that God was no longer to her as a consuming fire, and Jesus
was 'altogether lovely.' Her heart was now full of joy and gladness, as it
had been of terror, and at one time of despair. In the light of her great
happiness, the world was clad in new beauty, the very air sparkled as with
diamonds, and was redolent of heaven. She contemplated the unapproachable
barriers that existed between herself and the great of this world, as the
world calls greatness, and made surprising comparisons between them, and
the union existing between herself and Jesus-Jesus, the transcendently
lovely as well as great and powerful; for so he appeared to her, though he
seemed but human; and she watched for his bodily appearance, feeling that
she should know him, if she saw him; and when he came, she would go and
dwell with him, as with a dear friend.
It was not given to her to see that he loved any other; and she thought
if others came to know and love him, as she did, she should be thrust
aside and forgotten, being herself but a poor ignorant slave, with little
to recommend her to his notice. And when she heard him spoken off, she
said mentally-'What! others know Jesus! I thought no one knew Jesus but
me!' and she felt a sort of jealousy, lest she should be robbed of her
newly found treasure.
She conceived, one day, as she listened to reading, that she heard an
intimation that Jesus was married, and hastily inquired if Jesus had a
wife. 'What!' said the reader, 'God have a wife?' 'Is Jesus God? '
inquired Isabella. 'Yes, to be sure he is,' was the answer returned. From
this time, her conceptions of Jesus became more elevated and spiritual;
and she sometimes spoke of him as God, in accordance with the teaching she
had received.
But when she was simply told, that the Christian world was much divided
on the subject of Christ's nature-some believing him to be coequal with
the Father-to be God in and of himself, 'very God, of very God;'-some,
that he is the 'well-beloved,' 'only begotten Son of God;'-and others,
that he is, or was, rather, but a mere man-she said, 'Of that I only know
as I saw. I did not see him to be God; else, how could he stand between me
and God? I saw him as a friend, standing between me and God, through whom,
love flowed as from a fountain.' Now, so far from expressing her views of
Christ's character and office in accordance with any system of theology
extant, she says she believes Jesus is the same spirit that was in our
first parents, Adam and Eve, in the beginning, when they came from the
hand of their Creator. When they sinned through disobedience, this pure
spirit forsook them, and fled to heaven; that there it remained, until it
returned again in the person of Jesus; and that, previous to a personal
union with him, man is but a brute, possessing only the spirit of an
animal.
She avers that, in her darkest hours, she had no fear of any worse hell
than the one she then carried in her bosom; though it had ever been
pictured to her in its deepest colors, and threatened her as a reward for
all her misdemeanors. Her vileness and God's holiness and all-pervading
presence, which filled immensity, and threatened her with constant
annihilation, composed the burden of her vision of terror. Her faith in
prayer is equal to her faith in the love of Jesus. Her language is, 'Let
others say what they will of the efficacy of prayer, I believe in it, and
I shall pray. Thank God! Yes, I shall always pray,' she exclaims, putting
her hands together with the greatest enthusiasm.
For some time subsequent to the happy change we have spoken off,
Isabella's prayers partook largely of their former character; and while,
in deep affliction, she labored for the recovery of her son, she prayed
with constancy and fervor; and the following may be taken as a
specimen:-'Oh,
God, you know how much I am distressed, for I have told you again and
again. Now, God, help me get my son. If you were in trouble, as I am, and
I could help you, as you can me, think I would n't do it? Yes, God, you
know I would do it.'
'Oh, God, you know I have no money, but you can make the people do for me,
and you must make the people do for me. I will never give you peace till
you do, God.'
'Oh, God, make the people hear me-don't let them turn me off, without
hearing and helping me.'
And she has not a particle of doubt, that God heard her, and especially
disposed the hearts of thoughtless clerks, eminent lawyers, and grave
judges and others-between whom and herself there seemed to her almost an
infinite remove-to listen to her suit with patient and respectful
attention, backing it up with all needed aid. The sense of her nothingness
in the eyes of those with whom she contended for her rights, sometimes
fell on her like a heavy weight, which nothing but her unwavering
confidence in an arm which she believed to be stronger than all others
combined could have raised from her sinking spirit. 'Oh! how little did I
feel,' she repeated, with a powerful emphasis. 'Neither would you wonder,
if you could have seen me, in my ignorance and destitution, trotting about
the streets, meanly clad, bare-headed, and bare-footed! Oh, God only could
have made such people hear me; and he did it in answer to my prayers.' And
this perfect trust, based on the rock of Deity, was a soul-protecting
fortress, which, raising her above the battlements of fear, and shielding
her from the machinations of the enemy, impelled her onward in the
struggle, till the foe was vanquished, and the victory gained.
We have now seen Isabella, her youngest daughter, and her only son, in
possession of, at least, their nominal freedom. It has been said that the
freedom of the most free of the colored people of this country is but
nominal; but stinted and limited as it is, at best, it is an immense
remove from chattel slavery. This fact is disputed, I know; but I have no
confidence in the honesty of such questionings. If they are made in
sincerity, I honor not the judgment that thus decides.
Her husband, quite advanced in age, and infirm of health, was
emancipated, with the balance of the adult slaves of the State, according
to law, the following summer, July 4, 1828.
For a few years after this event, he was able to earn a scanty living,
and when he failed to do that, he was dependent on the 'world's cold
charity,' and died in a poorhouse. Isabella had herself and two children
to provide for; her wages were trifling, for at that time the wages of
females were at a small advance from nothing; and she doubtless had to
learn the first elements of economy-for what slaves, that were never
allowed to make any stipulations or calculations for themselves, ever
possessed an adequate idea of the true value of time, or, in fact, of any
material thing in the universe? To such, 'prudent using' is meanness-and
'saving' is a word to be sneered at. Of course, it was not in her power to
make to herself a home, around whose sacred hearth-stone she could collect
her family, as they gradually emerged from their prison-house of bondage;
a home, where she could cultivate their affection, administer to
their wants, and instil into the opening minds of her children those
principles of virtue, and that love of purity, truth and benevolence,
which must for ever form the foundation of a life of usefulness and
happiness. No-all this was far beyond her power or means, in more senses
than one; and it should be taken into the account, whenever a comparison
is instituted between the progress made by her children in virtue and
goodness, and the progress of those who have been nurtured in the genial
warmth of a sunny home, where good influences cluster, and bad ones are
carefully excluded-where 'line upon line, and precept upon precept,' are
daily brought to their quotidian tasks-and where, in short, every
appliance is brought in requisition, that self-denying parents can bring
to bear on one of the dearest objects of a parent's life, the promotion of
the welfare of their children. But God forbid that this suggestion should
be wrested from its original intent, and made to shield any one from
merited rebuke! Isabella's children are now of an age to know good from
evil, and may easily inform themselves on any point where they may yet be
in doubt; and if they now suffer themselves to be drawn by temptation into
the paths of the destroyer, or forget what is due to the mother who has
done and suffered so much for them, and who, now that she is descending
into the vale of years, and feels her health and strength declining, will
turn her expecting eyes to them for aid and comfort, just as instinctively
as the child turns its confiding eye to its fond parent, when it seeks for
succor or sympathy-(for it is now their turn to do the work, and bear the
burdens of life, so all must bear them in turn, as the wheel of life rolls
on)- if, I say, they forget this, their duty and their happiness, and
pursue an opposite course of sin and folly, they must lose the respect of
the wise and good, and find, when too late, that 'the way of the
transgressor is hard.'
NEW TRIALS.
The reader will pardon this passing homily, while we return to our
narrative.
We were saying that the day-dreams of Isabella and her husband-the plan
they drew of what they would do, and the comforts they thought to have,
when they should obtain their freedom, and a little home of their own- had
all turned to 'thin air,' by the postponement of their freedom to so late
a day. These delusive hopes were never to be realized, and a new set of
trials was gradually to open before her. These were the heart-wasting
trials of watching over her children, scattered, and imminently exposed to
the temptations of the adversary, with few, if any, fixed principles to
sustain them.
'Oh,' she says, 'how little did I know myself of the best way to
instruct and counsel them! Yet I did the best I then knew, when with them.
I took them to the religious meetings; I talked to, and prayed for and
with them; when they did wrong, I scolded at and whipped them.'
Isabella and her son had been free about a year, when they went to
reside in the city of New York; a place which she would doubtless have
avoided, could she have foreseen what was there in store for her; for this
view into the future would have taught her what she only learned by bitter
experience, that the baneful influences going up from such a city were not
the best helps to education, commenced as the education of her children
had been.
Her son Peter was, at the time of which we are speaking, just at that
age when no lad should be subjected to the temptations of such a place,
unprotected as he was, save by the feeble arm of a mother, herself a
servant there. He was growing up to be a tall, well-formed, active lad, of
quick perceptions, mild and cheerful in his disposition, with much that
was open, generous and winning about him, but with little power to
withstand temptation, and a ready ingenuity to provide himself with ways
and means to carry out his plans, and conceal from his mother and her
friends, all such as he knew would not meet their approbation. As will be
readily believed, he was soon drawn into a circle of associates who did
not improve either his habits or his morals.
Two years passed before Isabella knew what character Peter was
establishing for himself among his low and worthless comrades-passing
under the assumed name of Peter Williams; and she began to feel a parent's
pride in the promising appearance of her only son. But, alas! this pride
and pleasure were shortly dissipated, as distressing facts relative to him
came one by one to her astonished ear. A friend of Isabella's, a lady, who
was much pleased with the good humor, ingenuity, and open confessions of
Peter, when driven into a corner, and who, she said, 'was so smart, he
ought to have an education, if any one ought,'-paid ten dollars, as
tuition fee, for him to attend a navigation school. But Peter, little
inclined to spend his leisure hours in study, when he might be enjoying
himself in the dance, or otherwise, with his boon companions, went
regularly and made some plausible excuses to the teacher, who received
them as genuine, along with the ten dollars of Mrs -, and while his mother
and her friend believed him improving at school, he was, to their latent
sorrow, improving in a very different place or places, and on entirely
opposite principles. They also procured him an excellent place as a
coachman. But, wanting money, he sold his livery, and other things
belonging to his master; who, having conceived a kind regard for him,
considered his youth, and prevented the law from falling, with all its
rigor, upon his head. Still he continued to abuse his privileges, and to
involve himself in repeated difficulties, from which his mother as often
extricated him. At each time, she talked much, and reasoned and
remonstrated with him; and he would, with such perfect frankness, lay open
his whole soul to her, telling her he had never intended doing harm,-how
he had been led along, little by little, till, before he was aware, he
found himself in trouble-how he had tried to be good-and how, when he
would have been so, 'evil was present with him,'-indeed he knew not how it
was.
His mother, beginning to feel that the city was no place for him, urged
his going to sea, and would have shipped him on board a man-of-war; but
Peter was not disposed to consent to that proposition, while the city and
its pleasures were accessible to him. Isabella now became a prey to
distressing fears, dreading lest the next day or hour come fraught with
the report of some dreadful crime, committed or abetted by her son. She
thanks the Lord for sparing her that giant sorrow, as all his wrong doings
never ranked higher, in the eye of the law, than misdemeanors. But as she
could see no improvement in Peter, as a last resort, she resolved to leave
him, for a time, unassisted, to bear the penalty of his conduct, and see
what effect that would have on him. In the trial hour, she remained firm
in her resolution. Peter again fell into the hands of the police, and sent
for his mother, as usual; but she went not to his relief. In his
extremity, he sent for Peter Williams, a respectable colored barber, whose
name he had been wearing, and who sometimes helped young culprits out of
their troubles, and sent them from city dangers, by shipping them on board
of whaling vessels.
The curiosity of this man was awakened by the culprit's bearing his own
name. He went to the Tombs and inquired into his case, but could not
believe what Peter told him respecting his mother and family. Yet he
redeemed him, and Peter promised to leave New York in a vessel that was to
sail in the course of a week. He went to see his mother, and informed her
of what had happened to him. She listened incredulously, as to an idle
tale. He asked her to go with him and see for herself. She went, giving no
credence to his story till she found herself in the presence of Mr.
Williams, and heard him saying to her, 'I am very glad I have assisted
your son; he stood in great need of sympathy and assistance; but I could
not think he had such a mother here, although he assured me he had.'
Isabella's great trouble now was, a fear lest her son should deceive
his benefactor, and be missing when the vessel sailed; but he begged her
earnestly to trust him, for he said he had resolved to do better, and
meant to abide by the resolve. Isabella's heart gave her no peace till the
time of sailing, when Peter sent Mr. Williams and another messenger whom
she knew, to tell her he had sailed. But for a month afterwards, she
looked to see him emerging from some by-place in the city, and appearing
before her; so afraid was she that he was still unfaithful, and doing
wrong. But he did not appear, and at length she believed him really gone.
He left in the summer of 1839, and his friends heard nothing further from
him till his mother received the following letter, dated 'October 17
1840';-
MY DEAR AND BELOVED MOTHER:
'I take this opportunity to write to you and inform you that I am well,
and in hopes for to find you the same. I am got on board the same unlucky
ship Done, of Nantucket. I am sorry for to say, that I have been punished
once severely, by shoving my head in the fire for other folks. We have had
bad luck, but in hopes to have better. We have about 230 on board, but in
hopes, if do n't kave good luck, that my parents will receive me with
thanks. I would like to know how my sisters are. Does my cousins live in
New York yet? Have you got my letter? If not, inquire to Mr. Pierce
Whiting's. I wish you would write me an answer as soon as possible. I am
your only son, that is so far from your home, in the wide briny ocean. I
have seen more of the world than ever I expected, and if I ever should
return home safe, I will tell you all my troubles and hardships. Mother, I
hope you do not forget me, your dear and only son. I should like to know
how Sophia, and Betsey, and Hannah, come on. I hope you all will forgive
me for all that I have done.
'Your son, PETER VAN WAGENER.'
Another letter reads as follows, dated 'March 22, 1841':-
'MY DEAR MOTHER:
'I take this opportunity to write to you, and inform you that I have
been well and in good health. I have wrote you a letter before, but have
received no answer from you, and was very anxious to see you. I hope to
see you in a short time. I have had very hard luck, but are in hopes to
have better in time to come. I should like if my sisters are well, and all
the people round the neighborhood. I expect to be home in twenty-two
months or thereabouts. I have seen Samuel Laterett. Beware! There has
happened very bad news to tell you, that Peter Jackson is dead. He died
within two days' sail of Otaheite, one of the Society Islands. The Peter
Jackson that used to live at Laterett's; he died on board the ship Done,
of Nantucket, Captain Miller, in the latitude 15 53, and longitude 148 30
W. I have no more to say at present, but write as soon as possible.
'Your only son,
'PETER VAN WAGENER.'
Another, containing the last intelligence she has had from her son, reads
as follows, and was dated 'Sept. 19, 1841':-
'DEAR MOTHER:
'I take the opportunity to write to you and inform you that I am well
and in good health, and in hopes to find you in the same. This is the
fifth letter that I have wrote to you, and have received no answer, and it
makes me very uneasy. So pray write as quick as you can, and tell me how
all the people is about the neighborhood. We are out from home
twenty-three months, and in hope to be home in fifteen months. I have not
much to say; but tell me if you have been up home since I left or not. I
want to know what sort of a time is at home. We had very bad luck when we
first came out, but since we have had very good; so I am in hopes to do
well yet; but if I do n't do well, you need not expect me home these five
years. So write as quick as you can, won't you? So now I am going to put
an end to my writing, at present. Notice-when this you see, remember me,
and place me in your mind.
Get me to my home, that's in the far distant west, To the scenes of my
childhood, that I like the best; There the tall cedars grow, and the
bright waters flow, Where my parents will greet me, white man, let me go!
Let me go to the spot where the cateract plays, Where oft I have sported
in my boyish days; And there is my poor mother, whose heart ever flows, At
the sight of her poor child, to her let me go, let me go!
'Your only son,
'PETER VAN WAGENER.'
Since the date of the last letter, Isabella has heard no tidings from her
long-absent son, though ardently does her mother's heart long for such
tidings, as her thoughts follow him around the world, in his perilous
vocation, saying within herself-'He is good now, I have no doubt; I feel
sure that he has persevered, and kept the resolve he made before he left
home;-he seemed so different before he went, so determined to do better.'
His letters are inserted here for preservation, in case they prove the
last she ever hears
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